I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
