wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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