I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if i died would you start the facebook group?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
