i may or may not be watching the land before time
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
