Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
