one might say we're banned from that church
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
