GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We don't watch enough power rangers
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize