You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
