So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
