grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
