I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
