Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
