I swear god or herbie drove my car home
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Bring me that man meat
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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