Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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