so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
