how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
