this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
