He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
