I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
