Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
