isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
