Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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