honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
