Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
