I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
