Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
