no. you can't hotbox the world.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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