So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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