I'd wear matching sweaters with you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize