The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
vagina is talking i cant
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We are two peas in an std pod
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
