The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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