is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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