i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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