how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
