The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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