dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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