just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
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My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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