Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
