my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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