i don't plan on having that self control this summer
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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