Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
