maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
