I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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