Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
