So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
