We're like a lot better than the average bears
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
