He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
