You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
