I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
