Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
not ubering you a puppy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
