11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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