He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My ass is underappreciated
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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