why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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