your room smells of hookers.
And success
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
