I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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