Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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