she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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