PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
