I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
