yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
