dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize