I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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