Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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