If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
